If I have to ice one more snowflake...

The days and weeks seem to breeze by, don't they? This holiday season has been quite busy and eventful, so I haven't had much time to rest, let alone write in this blog. To that, I apologize. I've just gotten word that business is due to slow down substantially - so I suppose that will give me more time to ramble on here about my culinary discoveries.

Most recently, I learned a lesson that I would like to share with you - it may come in handy in your everyday lives, because interestingly enough, it did to me. I was at work near the end of a fairly busy day when I realized that we had sold the last of the maple cheesecake for the restaurant. As I searched for ingredients for the recipe, I realized that we didn't have any cream cheese in the entire hotel. Instead of feeling defeated, I thought that I might be able to use some of the cheesecake batter that we had in our cooler (that we were going to use for room service) and add some maple syrup to it. I admit, it wasn't the most ideal thing to do, but we needed to make some maple cheesecake pronto. I ran the idea by Mothra, who thought quite briefly about it and then asked me what I intended to do about adding more liquid to the batter. I said I would need something to balance it out and thicken it up, such as adding eggs. She said that was a great answer and then asked how many eggs I intended to put in. I paused.... and realized that I honestly didn't have a clue how many to put in. She then explained that I could consider this like a basic quiche recipe - for every cup of liquid, add 3 egg yolks. (I've heard different ratios since then, but at the time, I was still clueless) So with the basic cheesecake recipe, I added 3 cups of maple syrup and 9 egg yolks. Not only did it stabilize well, but it tasted great too. The ironic part was a few weeks later, I was at home and my partner wanted to make a quiche and asked me if I would throw one together - and remembering that simple ratio, he and I were able to made a delicious quiche. (The ratio I've seen commonly since I learned Mothra's way is for every 1/2 C. milk, add 1 large egg.)

At any rate, these past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of extremely busy (I beat my personal record with a 76 hour work week), tense, happy, excitement, and relief to have a few projects over with. Here are a few pictures of some of the things that have a little bit of my heart in it (and some that have taken a little piece of my soul...):

These are little mitten sugar cookies I made for some VIP clients - it was bagged together with a snowflake cookie (pictures to follow) as well as homemade cocoa mix and homemade marshmallows. It was a very cute gift idea - unfortunately, I don't have a picture of the entire gift put together...

(A close up of one of the mittens)(A close up of one of the designs of the snowflake cookies)Gratefully, regarding the mitten cookies, I only had to do about 15 - but these snowflake cookies I had to do roughly 80 large, 40 medium and about 80 small. My hand was throbbing... Looking at these pictures, I feel the work put into them was worth it - but at the time, it was a test of patience (as well as seeing how long my hand would keep going)

Alas, the grand unveiling of the gingerbread display. This years theme was 'Can't beat the Chicago winter blues' - the display not only included gingerbread buildings modeled after famous Chicago buildings, but we also had various instruments - a piano, a guitar, and a bass. The display also has blues music playing in the background and the 'train' (that comes through the guitar and under the piano) is modeled after the 'El' here in Chicago and has graffiti all over it. It is pretty amazing. Here are a few pictures of it closer up:

And after all was said and done at work, I had the opportunity to do the wedding cake for my partner's mom. She wasn't incredibly specific on what she wanted for the design - only said she wanted square cakes and a white on white design, so I took some creative liberty and made it a little unique for her.


All in all, it's been a busy, but rewarding, time for me. This new year is looking to be pretty slow, so I have the opportunity to switch roles a little bit at work and help out with the night production - which means my shift would go from 9:00 p.m. - 5:00 a.m. I'm looking forward to the challenge to see what new things I'm going to learn and if my body can handle that type of schedule. (Though I seem to be more productive at night, so I imagine it's going to be a good thing.) In addition to that, personal business seems to be becoming more and more frequent - I've had requests from people who saw my work at my partner's mom's wedding as well as a few odds and ends with people at work and at the church my partner sings at. It seems like things are up to a great start for my business and getting my name and products out there. Now, to come up with a name for my business...

Anyway, hope to be on here again soon. Until then~

New Goal, New Menu

I've been timid about writing an entry lately - despite the fact that the new fall menu is officially up as of yesterday. There has been a lot of work and a lot of experience that has happened recently, but I've been in a sort of funk. Over the past month, I've had an identity crisis of sorts about whether I'm good at what I'm doing, if I should continue to pursue this, if I want to move further up in management, if I am a leader or a follower in the kitchen... long story short, there have been many, many thoughts swirling in my already busy mind and I've come to a very honest conclusion - I don't want to work for someone.

Allow me to elaborate.

I do love what I do for a living. I love working with my hands. I love making food that people look forward to at the end of a meal or a celebration. I love baking and pastry. On the other hand, I don't love being told what to do. I don't appreciate being yelled at or belittled. I don't like the feeling of anxiety when Mothra walks through the door in the morning.
When I really sat down and looked at what I expected from this career and what I got into this business for, it was to be my own boss.
I don't consider myself a leader or a follower - I consider myself independent. I wanted to be knowledgeable and skilled enough that I could run a business on my own - and I want to get back to that goal.
People kept asking me what my career goal was and how far I wanted to move up in the hotel business, and every time I told them I was aiming for an executive pastry chef position, it felt wrong. I didn't believe it no matter how many times I told myself that it was the natural progression of what my career should be.
But I've figured it out - at least a rough draft - of what my career plan will be. I intend to start my own business out of my home and grow until I can get to a point that I can buy a location to set roots down. I want this to be a dessert catering business - meeting with clients face to face, asking what their needs are and then creating those items and making the entire process very personal. I want to emphasize seasonal, fresh, local ingredients and I want to work primarily with farmers and growers in the area to buy my ingredients instead of buying from local grocery chains. I want to make healthy dessert options. Ultimately, I want to have an area in my place of business that is set apart for meetings with potential clients about wedding/celebration cakes where I can design with them exactly what they want for their big day. I want to be well-known and have a great reputation. I want to be successful. I want to make lots of money. Bottom line - I want to be my own boss.
Obviously, this won't happen overnight - but I feel that if I begin my personal business as a part time job, I can continue to gain experience where I work now. Slowly as my reputation begins to grow, I can turn my full-time job now into a part-time job and focus more on my business. Then it's only a matter of time before I'll be on my own in my own pastry haven.

That's the plan, folks. You read it here first. I will continue to revel daily in the musings of what is to come while I gain more experience at where I'm at now.

With that being said, let me discuss the menu that my co-worker, Rebecca, and I have created for fall.

Main Desserts:

• Warm Apple Crisp served with caramel ice cream and garnished with a dried apple chip
• Pumpkin Pie Parfait - layers of caramel, organic cream, pumpkin mousse and white chocolate covered graham crackers, garnished with pumpkin seed brittle
• Flourless Chocolate Cake - with a crunchy hazelnut crust, served with organic espresso cream and candied hazelnuts
• Maple Cheesecake - served with maple whipped cream, bourbon caramel sauce and housemade pralines

Pies:

• Sweet Potato pie with a marshmallow meringue
• Chocolate Pecan pie
• Butterscotch Cream pie
• Muddy Buddy Pie, which is layers of chocolate mousse, dark chocolate covered chex and peanut butter-cream cheese mousse, topped with powdered sugar - garnished with Muddy Buddy Mix

Ice Cream/Sorbets:

• Caramel Pear Sorbet
• Carrot Cake Ice Cream (cream cheese ice cream with swirls of carrot cake and caramel sauce)
• Coffee Ice Cream (Rich coffee ice cream, swirled with caramel sauce)
• Cookie dough ice cream (Vanilla bean ice cream swirled with dark chocolate ganache, chocolate chips and chunks of cookie dough)
• and Caramel Ice cream

Yesterday I had the opportunity to meet with the night staff at the restaurant and have a tasting with them with samples of all of the new menu items and it went incredibly well. The staff completely loved the desserts and seemed excited about trying to upsell them to the customers at the restaurant and bar. Overall, I feel really optimistic about this menu change - there are a lot of rich, heavy items on the menu, but with the cold weather getting nearer, the idea of comfort foods seems more and more appealing. I think this menu will sell very well.

The honest truth about this menu writing experience? It's actually been very pleasurable for a number of reasons.
One, I was able to co-write the menu with Rebecca. The fact that both of us are still fairly new in our careers and near the same level of experience, we were able to feed off of each other and come up with great ideas. Granted, we also came up with some horrible ideas that we thought were good at the time, but having the support to speak our minds to one another without judgment was helpful. Plus, when Mothra shot some of our supposed solid ideas down with a fiery arrow, we were able to talk to each other about it and move on to something better.

Secondly, doing this process on a regular basis has helped me with confidence in creating new ideas. Really, there is no choice but to come up with ideas and while many of them may not be the best choice, there are always at least a few that stand out and are able to make it to the next step. And there is really a great feeling when you see someone enjoying a dessert (or piece of pie or scoop of ice cream) that was only an idea in your mind a few weeks before.

Do I think this menu writing process is tedious and stressful at times? Without a doubt. But it really is rewarding and I am always learning something new whether it be about myself, or how to make something that is just good into something fantastic. I guess it always tends to be a matter of perspective.


More to come soon~

Summer '10 Wedding Cakes (and other tales)

It's happening all over again, folks. The beginning of the Fall menu planning has begun. This time around will not only be better because I learned a thing or four from the school of hard knocks, but I also have the help of a co-worker who is at about the same level in her career as I am. So while we have only sat down once last week to actually discuss menu ideas, we've come up with some very fun ideas to anticipate the new season. It'll be exciting to plan out, experiment with and finally roll out - once we get a rough draft put together, I'll put it up here to give you a better idea of what we're planning. (Plus, it'll give me time to think of a clever pseudonym for my co-worker - you can't just make up these things on the spot people. It takes time...)
Anyway, the purpose of this entry is to showcase a couple of the wedding cakes I've done over the past few weeks. Would I be lying if I said that I am proud of them all? Yes. I would most definitely be lying to you. But the imperfections I see may not be quite as apparent to you - so I'll refrain from pointing them out and explain them briefly.

Remember in my last entry how I was explained the atrocious experience of having the cake not ready and delaying the opening of the doors - then having a portion of the cake fall off during the reception? Here is a picture of that cake in all her glory.

These top two are what it looked like after the set-up. The second picture isn't the best quality, but I wanted to include it to show what the other sides looked like. This next picture is what we did to cover up the massive chunk of icing that fell off of the cake. It may seem like a cop out or maybe you don't notice a huge issue at all - but the options were incredibly limited at that point. Imagine, if you will, 12 people standing around the cake while Mothra and I were trying to fix it... with large butter knives because we didn't have our decorating tools handy. To say it was a mess of a night is an incredible understatement.
Moving on...

This next cake is actually a lovely design. The bride was inspired by actress Alyssa Milano's wedding cake. So we took the concept of the draped, rippled look and did this design. I think Alyssa Milanos cake may have been fondant, but we did buttercream with this design. My only main complaint was with the flowers - not only were they small and didn't fit well with the theme of the cake, but the florist gave me an incredibly small bunch to work with. I feel I did well considering, but here are some pictures of that cake.

Finally, this past weekend, I had the pleasure of doing the wedding cake of the bride and groom I had met with a few months ago. It was so strange to think how fast time had flown by - but suffice to say, I felt an attachment to this cake since I was the one who helped them design it. The cakes are both round and square tiered and the bride and groom wanted a meshing of their cultures: hers being Indian and his being traditional American. So we alternated a henna design (matching the color of their invitations) and kept the other tiers plain and simple. The flowers are also fairly simple, but a gorgeous color. I'm including pictures of the final product - and then showing the cake topper they wanted to go with it.

Am I somewhat tactless in the fact that I decorated the cake with flowers on top to take pictures before I put their cake topper on? Yes, but feast your eyes on this gem of a cake topper:
I could write paragraphs - nearly another blog - about cake toppers and my distaste in them. But I will not go on here - I do love fresh flowers and I'll reiterate how much I love the color of these flowers on their cake. I was also happy with the henna design - it was my first time attempting this type of piping and I felt I exceeded my expectations. The only problem I had, which was told to me by Mothra, was that I need to increase my speed on piping. I agree with her and feel that I will be able to pipe faster in the future as a result of the experience I gained on this cake.

As an added bonus, I'm going to include a few pictures of fun projects I did and fun experiences that I had over these past few weeks.

Here are some chocolate cupcakes that I did for a baby shower that was in the hotel. They didn't know the gender of the baby, so they requested something neutral and I thought this might be a fun non-gender specific way to celebrate.


These are cookies that were made for a (you guessed it) and Notre Dame themed party. While I'm not a fan of football in general, I am a fan of the what food color, powdered sugar and water can do. It's amazing to me that something so simple can be piped into these types of designs... we do a variety of cookie designs on a regular basis, usually depending on the clients needs. I'm looking forward to the holidays because the cookies we do will be focused on the various symbols and icons of the holidays/seasons. Exciting stuff for a pastry geek like me.
And finally, I had the tremendous pleasure of having the Watters family visit the hotel and have a fun afternoon decorating cupcakes.

I blogged about this experience on my Definitions blog - sadly, the day after I posted that blog, Benny passed away. Meeting him and his family is something I'll always cherish and keep very dear to my heart. I'll be attending his funeral services this weekend and I asked his mother, Lisa, if there is anything I could do or bring to their gathering following Benny's service. She asked if I could bring something that her and Benny used to make - chocolate dipped pretzel sticks. She even included this picture in her message to me:

It goes without saying that the Watters family will probably have more chocolate dipped pretzels this weekend then they would ever care to have.

There are moments when I sit back and think how much I love what I do for a living. Sometimes it's after an incredibly long and productive day and I think about all that I accomplished. Sometimes I'm involved in a fun project and I feel a little guilty that I'm actually getting paid for it. Sometimes it's when I look at the pictures on the train ride home after I've set up a wedding cake I'm proud of. But it isn't anything compared to experiences like ones that I've had with my nieces decorating a cake or decorating cupcakes with Benny and his family or volunteering at a cancer wellness house and teaching a cooking class. There is few times I've felt that much joy in what I do for a living. It's moments like those that keep me so involved in what I do and give me the motivation to do and be better at my profession.

Contamination...

It's officially too hot to temper chocolate in my kitchen. I was hoping to start blogging about my exciting escapades in understanding chocolate better, but after a good half hour of trying to let my tempered chocolate set up to do some basic curls or cigarettes, I gave up, scraped up the gooey mess off of my counter, wrapped up the chocolate in a bowl (and went to town on the spatula - delicious). Maybe tomorrow I'll attempt another daring adventure.

At any rate, let's talk about some major issues that have transpired recently. I was timid at first about even mentioning this because I wouldn't want this to reflect a negative light on my business - but the truth of the matter is things like this happen. It's never intentional despite how safe and clean we always are - but the focus of this blog is contamination.

Contamination basically refers to the presence of harmful chemicals and microorganisms which can cause illness to the guest or customer. While there is never a time I've seen in my shop when a toxic material has been anywhere near food - and gratefully, everyone is very keen on washing their hands constantly to avoid spreading germs/viruses/bacteria.

But the one thing I've noticed we have to continually keep our eye on is allergies - if someone is allergic to nuts, dairy or needs desserts that are gluten-free. Recently a guest couldn't have corn in any product. Now, I don't know if you've ever checked the labels on... well, nearly anything, but corn (or a byproduct of it) is in many many things.
See? The corn even says so. This new menu we just rolled out has corn ice cream that is paired with a brown butter cornmeal pecan cake - so that's obvious. But what about the high fructose corn syrup or cornstarch that is lurking in delicious looking treats? Sometimes those are a little more tricky and we almost had a run in with serving something that did, in fact, have both corn starch and corn syrup in the ingredients. Luckily we caught it in plenty of time and served another delicious treat in it's place.

The main problem we had recently was with one of the newer ice creams in our restaurant. We got two guest complaints that they found.....(wait for it).....glass in their ice cream. Glass?! How in the hell does that even happen?!! At the time, I was horrified, but my face went white once I realized it was one of the ice creams I has made and I was bound a determined to find out what happened and why. After calling Mothra and Clara (Mothras assistant) and explaining the situation, I did a little investigation and found some small pieces of glass on the floor of the freezer. We were able to piece together some of the glass and realized that it was a bottle for a type of club soda that the hotel carries. It turns out someone (we still don't know who) must've put a bottle in the freezer to make it cold, it exploded and they tried to clean it up the best they could without anyone knowing it. Well - as a result, we had two guests (incredibly understanding considering the circumstance) with a valid negative impression on the restaurant, nearly 16 quarts of back stocks of various home-made ice creams thrown out because they has the potential of being contaminated with shards of glass, as well as melting, straining and re-spinning every other ice cream we had in the freezer to be on the safe side. We also had a department meeting about the situation and it was made crystal clear that glass was never to be in the freezer. Also, when working with glasses for various dessert projects, protective sheets should be used between layers (if the product is being stacked on racks, etc) and anything glass should be stored on the bottom of shelves in the cooler.
Again, this is a situation that is extremely rare and is never intentional, but it happens. Unfortunately, it did - but I think it was a good wake-up call for everyone to be more conscientious about how to make sure it never happens again.

In unrelated news, this past weekend we did a wedding cake that was a near disaster. It was a pain to put together and decorate - to the point, we had to make the guests wait about 10-15 minutes to open the door to the reception because we didn't have the cake ready to display. Then, while we were setting up a giant sweet table for the reception later on, a large piece of the buttercream frosting literally fell off of the cake because the room was so hot with all of the guests. (And yes, it was before the bride and groom had cut into it) It was such an awful experience - I'm almost timid to put up pictures of what it looked like. Maybe for the next entry... We'll be having a wedding cake this weekend and 3 next weekend - so there will be a themed blog on the cakes coming up. Until then!

New Menu Accomplished

It has been a rollercoaster over the past week or so. After the sobering experience that I had written about in my previous entry, I went on vacation. The timing couldn't have been more perfect... it gave me time to reflect on all the things that Mothra had said, relive the experiences I had and learn from them and try to move past it. Truth be told, it was difficult. I had a pit in my stomach the entire week I was off because I was dreading coming back. But as the saying goes, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. When the time came for vacation to be over, I had a clear resolution to do my best in every project, to not take things so personal, to remember each experience is a learning tool, and finally, to respect Mothra's experience and authority, but not give her that much control over my emotion. And the first day back from vacation actually went very well. The menu was in it's absolute final stages, namely back-up supply of essential components, garnishes and prepping what could be done as the following day would be the first day of the new dessert menu in service.

The final step in the new menu was to arrange a tasting meeting with the restaurant staff. Up until this point, the desserts had be tasted over and over by myself, until I thought it was good enough for Mothra. Then once Mothra gave her suggestions (tweaking this and that), and she felt the product was ready, we'd have a tasting with our executive chef. If the dessert met his approval, then we were in the clear for the new menu production to begin. Now, after all was said and done, I arranged 3 different tastings for the restaurant staff (one tasting for the morning shift and one for the evening shift) and another tasting for the bar staff. What I did, essentially, is plate each of the desserts up as though they were going to be served. Once all of the staff was present for the tasting, I would explain each of the desserts in detail.
What ingredients are in it. What allergies could be affected by it. (nuts, dairy, eggs, etc.) What desserts would be best to sell for more experienced palates and what would be best for kids. My personal favorites. What the garnishes are. And other things of that nature. And of course, the staff has questions along the way and they all taste the desserts so they know exactly what they are selling to the customers. Truth be told, all of the tastings were very well received and the staff loved it. And as a result, the desserts have been selling better than usual over the past week.

What a relief to have this menu up and running. But, it is time to start thinking about the fall menu... so the process begins again. I find comfort in the fact that I've learned a tremendous amount over the past few months, so I am actually excited to start this process again.

Here are a few pictures from the experimental stages at work. I wanted to include these just to give you an idea of how we exactly we played around with different flavors:

This is the very beginning stages of the brown butter pecan cornmeal cake - we thought peaches were going to be the main fruit on top, so this experiment was to try the cake with whole pecans, chopped pecans, or no pecans at all, as well as trying the peaches whole, sliced or cut in pieces. This led to our next experiment...

This is 2nd experiment of the brown butter cornmeal pecan cake - it is divided in to 8 sections. The top half has small pecan pieces underneath the fruit and the bottom half has large pecan pieces underneath the fruit. This was mainly to test for the feel and consistency of each bite in the mouth. (Was larger better? No. We actually scrapped the nuts altogether in the end.) The fruit we tested was plums (which didn't make the cut because... well, we know why), peaches (which didn't end up happening because we ended up putting a peach pie on the menu and needed variety ) and blackberries, one fresh column, one cooked column. The blackberries ended up being the winner because it was incredibly delicious - Plain and simple. We did decide that the berries needed to be cooked though because the fresh berries didn't mesh well with the cake and the overall texture we were trying to achieve.


This is Mothras final attempt to keep my dream of the plum tart alive - I gave her my test sample (the 9709) and she gave a few suggestions on what to experiment with. On here we have on tart with cheesecake filling and plums, one with almond cream and cheesecake (which looked and tasted awful) and another one similar to that with chopped nuts, and one with almond cream and cooked plums on top. A worthy test, but nothing that produced something we wanted to pursue further.

All in all a very interesting process to be a part of. It's really fascinating to me that you can change the whole dessert by adding one ingredient or changing the form of an ingredient you already have. It makes the possibilities nearly endless - and that makes it all pretty exciting.

Finally, I do have great news. A few weeks ago, I was nominated for employee of the month and this past week, I won the overall award. Included with my certificate and a gift card was the nomination form that was sent in. I was nominated by Mothra, and here is what she had to say:

"Nik is a key player in the pastry shop and has been instrumental in executing our wedding cakes. These wedding cakes are a vital part of a special celebration and are long remembered in minds and photographs. The success of these cakes are vital to our success (as a hotel) on the day of the event and any failure would not soon be forgotten.
Since his very first week in our kitchen, Nik was colled on to build and decorate wedding cakes. With his exceptional abilities, he has focused his efforts in giving our brides and grooms the most beautiful and delicious cakes possible. Nik is detail oriented and cares deeply about putting his best work forward. In addition, during his time with us he has always been eager to take on additional responsibilities including setting the tastings and meeting with brides and grooms. What's more he has played a key role in the design and displays of our sweet tables. His work has been noticed by our meeting planner(s) and he is even been asked for by name to help with future displays. When I need to count on someone to have a special eye for flower arrangements or displays - I know I can count on him doing an excellent job. No matter how hurries, he always remains upbeat and positive and has proven himself to be an excellent team player. We are truly proud that he is a member of our pastry team."

The new menu up and running, then this? I don't think I have any room for complaints.

Stumbling Block

It has been a rough couple of days. I'm not writing this entry as an attempt to feel pity or to vent, but simply because I feel I need to write it down so I can grow from it... maybe reflect on it later - who knows.

Last Saturday, I was able to sit down with Mothra and discuss the menu writing process and my experience with it. I told her the honest truth by saying I worked incredibly hard on it at work and in my free time but it is incredibly difficult for me. She said that she has intentionally been staying out of the way so I can try to gain as much experience as I can with this process, but she felt she finally had to step in and take over. She said that this is something I need to master - but that it would take some time. Following that, she told me that there was a great opportunity for leadership in the pastry department at a new hotel that is opening in the city though she told me that she would not give me a recommendation for it because she doesn't feel I'm ready. I'm not sure if the shock was apparent on my face, but regardless, she kept on by saying that one of my best attributes is also one of my major downfalls in this career - and that is I try to make everyone happy. I was told that I don't have an opinion about many things and that if there is something I don't like, I have a problem saying it. She also said that if she put a couple of items in front of me, she doubts that I would be able to identify what would be the most popular. Part of me knows Mothra told me all of this so I could know that these things are an issue and that I need to work on them, but at the same time, it was said in such a way that didn't feel remotely encouraging - in fact, I felt small and humiliated.
I left her office telling myself that I needed to work harder, but the motivation to do it just wasn't there. I can't explain it but it was such a blow to my ego to be putting my all into this job and especially this menu-writing project just to be told that my efforts are not good enough.
The next day, Mothra was off, so I was able to work independently on getting various tasks and projects accomplished, but there seemed to be a cloud over my head that made me feel like I wasn't doing enough or what I was doing wasn't good enough. I think that is the problem with having a negative perspective - as I write this, I can look back on retrospect and know that I did do my best and that it was good, but at the time I just couldn't see it.
As a result, yesterday was painful. I came into work tired because I was stressing about this entire menu process and all the things that Mothra had said to me, and I was simply off all day. Add to the fact that Mothra and I were to present the new menu items to our executive chef that day, the tension was higher than usual. I got yelled at - repeatedly. To the point that I worked for a solid half hour with tears streaming down my face... and the negative emotions I felt simply made the situation worse because I couldn't think straight. So if she asked me to get a garnish for a certain dessert, I grabbed the wrong one. Or I misplaced something and spent extra time to find it. Or she asked me to do a simple task and it didn't end up happening correctly. Problems just seemed to be stacking - and on a 12-hour day where this is happening continually, I simply didn't have anything left in me by the end.
The entire bus ride home, I questioned whether I should be doing what I'm doing. Is it worth it? Are the long hours and the belittlement that I was feeling something that I really wanted to continue to put up with? Furthermore, do I really want to be like Mothra?? She has told me on more than one occasion that if I want to be a leader, that I need change my quiet personality and become more outspoken. Do I really need to change who I am to make it in this industry? And so I wrestled with this all night and went to bed seriously doubting myself, my experience, my education and most of all, my career. What would I do if I didn't do pastry?

Truth is, there is only a handful of things that I can think of that would make me as happy as I feel doing what I do - but this is what I want to be doing. Granted, it has only been one day since my self-proclaimed "worst-day-of-my-professional-career", but pastry is my love. It's my passion. And even though I got side-tracked because I have weaknesses to overcome (and a tougher skin to develop), I know that I am on the right track to becoming a successful pastry chef. Maybe it'll just take a little longer than anticipated so I can refine these skills. And maybe I don't need the strange humiliatingly belittling/incredibly supportive personality of Mothra, but I'm going to make it. That is the bottom line.

Regardless, let me put it on record that Mothra is, hands down, my biggest fan and my worst enemy - and I still have a lot to learn.

Lament of the Plum Tart (and other such tales)

I've been trying to find time to write an update about the new menu for a while - but the truth of the matter is, it's been such a busy, tedious process that I can hardly keep up with it myself. It's been somewhat frustrating because the products that I've been producing have come out pretty well - but, in Mothras eyes, there is always something missing. I do appreciate that she feels that all of these desserts have potential to be ultra incredible, but it's worn me down over the past few weeks to attempt to plan out an exceptional product that gets let down - sometimes not in an easy or tactful way. In the back of my mind, I feel that I'll look back on this time (somewhat fondly with, I imagine, a coy smile on my face) and think what a growing period this point was in my career. I am really looking forward to that day.

Here's the official updated menu as of today:

Main Desserts

Cherry Cobbler- served with a scoop of house-made sour cream-brown sugar ice cream

Blueberry Trifle- layers of blueberries and maple syrup, cheesecake and maple mousse

Blackberry Cornmeal upside-down cake (Still in testing stages)

Peach Tart (Still in testing stages)

Drumstick (Still in testing stages)

Ice Creams/Sorbets

Melon Sorbet (Still being tested)

Black Forest Ice Cream

Cotton Candy Ice Cream (Still being tested)

Ginger Ice Cream

Sour Cream Brown Sugar Ice Cream

Pies

Mixed Berry Pie

S’more Pie

Sour Cream Pear Pie (Still being tested)

Tiramisu Pie

Specialty Drink

Blueberry Ginger-Ale

You may notice from the last post that the menu has undergone some major changes. And I think that was is so frustrating to me at this point - this menu was supposed to be my project, but with all the changes that have taken place, I hardly recognize the vision I originally had. That being said, my name is not being put on the line with this menu change, it is Mothras. When you get down to the bottom line, any review that this menu might get is a reflection of her work, so I know there is a great deal of trust from her to me to give me this project. Most people in my profession (especially at my current position on the totem pole) don't get opportunities like this very easily.

However, that also means that she has the liberty to take my ideas and bend them to reflect her style. Again, she is the boss and that is her prerogative. It is my goal to work with that I now have in front of me, learn what I can about making these desserts more appealing, and make this menu change fantastic. The new menu begins officially on August 6 - One week.

You may have noticed that one thing that has changed in the menu is the fact that there is no longer a plum tart - namely for these reasons: The plums we got in were from California, thereby neglecting the local, organic aspect we are striving to maintain; The plums are tart and not quite ripe - additionally, maintaining consistency of product with an inconsistent fruit flavor (especially one as the main ingredient) could pose some major problems; Finally, Mothra feels that plums wouldn't sell. It would be more palate-friendly to offer a fruit that people easily recognize (in this case, peaches). These reasons are all completely valid - but it made me disappointed because one of my favorite recollections of dessert growing up was a plum cake my Mom used to make - that cake and my mom were the inspiration for that item. So aside from the fact that I was emotionally invested in this item, I spent an entire night at home perfecting this recipe so I could "sell" it to Mothra. After a series of tests, I felt I had a solid recipe and a delicious product. Unfortunately (for the reasons I listed above), Mothra decided to pass on this tart, but I still wanted to include a few pictures from my experiment:

Getting ready to grind up the almonds for my almond cream

In the process of mixing the almond cream

Making a plum preserve for bottom of tart

After it had reduced enough, I blended it in my Cuisinart, strained it and added some Plum Brandy to give the preserves a more unique flavor

Lining my tart pans with pate sucree

Layering the bottom with the plum preserve, then adding the almond cream on top...

Then layering the top with slices of plum (I wanted to try both red and black to see the result - the black version looked much better)

Final product:
9709

(Plum-Almond Tart)

Although this didn't make the final cut on the menu, I still wanted to include my process (and passion involved) in this product here on this blog. Even though the menu I originally planned has changed, I can honestly look at this product and the recipe I created and say that it is mine. As a result, I named it after the number on my house growing up - That is the house where I have many fond memories of eating the plum cake my mom makes. Since that house was my first home, it seems a little appropriate that my first dessert creation would relate.

At any rate, I have many more pictures of the process of the desserts at work with the new menu - the experiments for those are actually pretty interesting to see. Also, I've had the opportunity to do another wedding tasting and meet with the bride and groom at work to design their wedding cake and discuss their cake and dessert options. Exciting things have been happening lately - There will definitely be more to follow soon.

Menu Writing - Round 2

This weekend had been incredibly busy because of a large Greek wedding reception we were making a cake for. And by cake, I mean tower. It was a massive cake and intentionally over-the-top. I'm not going to lie when I tell you that I was nervous with what the final product would be... I mean, nearly 7 tiers colored in various shades of sea-foam green and teal, stacked on pillars, and all ablaze with gold accents? That is the recipe for a hot mess if not executed well. Gratefully, my skills are getting better and Mothra is a genius, so together we made a gorgeous cake.

Regarding the new menu, I was able to chat with Mothra today and we were able to go through what would work, what doesn't work, and what is needed. Her comments were very interesting and enlightening, so I thought it'd be cool to show you the original menu with notes of the revision. (**Note: Items that made the cut are in bold, items that have the line through them have been cut off of the menu and all descriptions in italics are notes from our discussion)

Main Desserts

Cherry Chocolate Almond Tart (Compared with the rest of the menu, this item got axed to maintain variety because there are too many cherry options on the menu)

Seasonal Cobbler - Pear or Cherry? (This is a common dessert people can relate to and recognize; will be a popular item and easy to prepare)

Blueberry Trifle -Blueberries with maple syrup & lemon zest, cornmeal cake, whipped cream (w/marscapone?) (The marscapone got axed, but her and I were talking about other possible flavor combinations to go with it. Some include: cheesecake, lemon curd, or white chocolate)

Cherry Cornmeal upside-down cake/Peach Tatin Cake (Essentially the same concept of an upside down cake, these were placed together. We were thinking of making it a peach themed, but looking for new flavor combinations to make it a little more exciting. Some ideas include: coconut, Bourbon, lime, ginger, blackberries or yogurt)

Pavolva with Fresh Seasonal Fruit (This got taken off because of the humidity in Chicago during the summer; I put it on there originally because I thought it’d be nice to have a gluten-free option on the menu, but the pavlova would essentially melt or look awful before it got to the guest. She said that this dessert would be better in the winter)

Poached Pear or Plum Tart (She liked the idea of a plum tart – this actually made me happy because I wanted something like this on the menu because it reminds me of one of my favorite desserts my mom while I was growing up)

Summer Rice Pudding-Light Rice Pudding with seasonal fruit coulis (She liked this idea, but was honest about the issue of spending too much labor to produce this constantly)

Local Cheese and Fruit Platter (She likes this idea, but it wouldn’t be through the pastry department. She said she would talk with the Executive Chef about possibly putting it on the regular menu)

*In addition to these desserts, she feels we need something chocolate centered (since most all of these desserts are fruit based) as well as a dessert that is super-unique and exciting. She said all of these ideas are great, but we need one that really exceeds expectations.

Ice Creams/Sorbets

Cucumber-Mint Sorbet (She said it’d be great for an intermezzo, but doesn’t think that people would order it; generally people who eat at our restaurant are not inclined to order desserts that seem out of the ordinary)

Tri-Melon Sorbet - cantelope, watermelon, honey dew layered (She does like this idea but it is an issue of labor. If we aren’t able to find great puree of these melons, then the issue becomes cutting/pureeing all three melons on a regular basis to make sorbet – which isn’t cost effective. She also said it would be a great idea with two flavors instead of three, so that would save some time/labor)

Noyaux (Cherry Pit) Ice Cream (I was so excited about the flavor in cherry pits that I wanted to share it with the world. But the reality of it is that we would need a huge heap of cherry pits on a regular basis to make this ice cream – We usually get cherries brought in fresh from the farm, but pre-pitted to save us on labor. From a practical point of view, this was a great idea for small scale – just not for large production in the restaurant)

Black Forest Ice Cream (Loved the idea, just need to work out details)

Cotton Candy Ice Cream (Again, loved the idea, just need to work out the details on it)

*We need more ice creams, but as we come up with more concrete menu items, we will be able to create ice creams or sorbets to pair well with the desserts.

Pies

Raspberry-Cilantro with Honey Crumble (She loved this idea, but said that we would need to hide the fact that cilantro is in there. Again, people who frequent the hotel would be less inclined to order it despite the fact it would taste incredible)

Melba-Peach and Raspberry Pie (Got taken off simply because we have a peach item and a raspberry item already and need to maintain variety)

Fresh Cherry Pie (Classic and sure to sell. This was saved in the event we don’t do a cherry cobbler in the main desserts)

Peach Pie (Taken off because we have a peach item and need to maintain variety)

Pear-Anise Pie (She liked the idea of a pear pie, just need to work out details and make it more exciting)

*In addition to these pies, she feels we need something unique (“kitchey” is the word she uses) as well as something centered around chocolate.

Specialty Drink

Virgin Mint Bellini Peach nectar, sugar, lemon, mint, sparkling water

Blueberry Ginger-Ale - Ginger-Ale flavored with blueberry puree

(Of the two specialty drinks, she found the blueberry ginger-ale the most exciting – thought she did love both ideas)

I am still in the process of figuring out good desserts, so it's hard for me (at this point in my career) to think about extraordinary desserts. To me, they all seem extraordinary because I haven't made them yet - but Mothra is very much about creating new desserts ideas, not just making something that has already been done. That is definitely something I look forward to doing myself.

After we had talked about this menu, she had me search online for unique flavor combinations that we could incorporate into this menu. We came across this recipe for Blueberry Corn Salad - after she read the ingredients, she printed off the recipe and told me to make it for the entire pastry department for lunch. I thought she was joking... but alas, she was not. So I made this salad for the pastry department today and it was delicious. I'm including the recipe here so anyone reading this blog can try it... It's worth it.

Blueberry Corn Salad

• 6 ears fresh sweet corn, husked
  
• 1 cup fresh blueberries
• 1 small cucumber, sliced
• 1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• 1 jalapeño pepper, seeded and finely chopped*
• 2 Tbsp. lime juice
• 2 Tbsp. olive oil
• 1 Tbsp. honey
• 1/2 tsp. ground cumin

In Dutch oven bring salted water to boiling. Add corn. Cook, covered, 5 minutes, or until tender. When cool enough to handle, cut corn from cobs.

In a serving bowl combine corn, blueberries, cucumber, red onion, cilantro, and jalapeño. For dressing, in screw-top jar combine lime juice, oil, honey, cumin, and 1/2 tsp. salt. Cover; shake well to combine. Add to salad; toss. Cover and refrigerate overnight (up to 24 hours). Makes 6 to 8 servings.

*Hot peppers, such as jalepeños, contain oils that can burn skin and eyes. Wear plastic gloves when working with them. If using bare hands wash well with soap and water.

(We ate this by itself, then ended up pulling out some corn tortilla chips and essentially eating it like a salsa. Great stuff.)

She made me make the recipe simply to show that thinking outside the box and putting ingredients together (that normally aren't together) can make something that is normally ordinary into something extraordinary. And that's the goal with the revamping of this new menu - to make these items that made the cut into something that goes beyond expectations. We will be sitting down either tomorrow or the next day to talk more about them, then start the recipe/experimental process of the actual creation of the desserts. Definitely looking forward to that.

Also some exciting news, Mothra told me that she nominated me for employee of the month at the hotel. She says that with all of the wedding cakes we've done over the past few months that she couldn't have done it without my help and that I've played a substantial role in the pastry department since I started. She was telling me this as I was cleaning up today, and I couldn't have thought of a better way to end the day.

Anyway, as more details develop, I'll be sure to keep you posted. Until next time!